It’s the blog post that no one asked for, but everyone gets. I’m gonna list of some of the better moments from this year’s Olympics. There were a lot of amazing wins and a ton of history-making moments. There were also a ton of mishaps like Jackson/Timberlake wardrobe malfunctions, bully skaters, poor sports, and Russians doping for curling. (Drugs for curling though. Wowzers, amiright?) However, unless I find those bad things to be funny, then I probably won’t list them. Let’s focus on the good, huh?
Most of you know that I really don’t like sports and know nothing about them. So why did Annie watch sports every day, all day, for a month, you ask? My dear father answered that perfectly: “You like to binge watch shows. So you binge sports for a month and then you don’t need to see any more sports for another two years.” Yep, that’s real.
The Olympics are particularly fun because I go into them with practically zero knowledge of most of the sports or athletes and I come out crying over everyone’s stories and can rant off fun facts for a good ten minutes about figure skating jumps.
Not to mention the fact that the Winter Olympics are completely psychotic. Whose mum let these kids launch themselves over a hundred meters in the air down a mountain or rocket down a track going 80 miles an hour in a sled? It’s a competition of the stupid stuff people do, and I love it.
Let’s do this.
First. The gems of the Games, I like to call: Unauthorized Bois™️
There was the streaker in the tutu, just trying to spread Peace+Love, and then the unauthorized man that snuck onto the Opening Ceremony stage, not once but twice.
It begs the question…Who’s in charge of security there? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
First of all, Chloe Kim. Let’s talk about this amazing girl. She won Gold for Team USA, as the youngest woman to win a snowboarding medal in half-pipe. Being a 17-year-old girl, she didn’t want to cry after winning because she worked so hard on her eyeliner and posted these tweets IN BETWEEN HER RUNS.
A blessing to this world.
Next, we have the greatest team in snowboarding. The Finnish team aka Team Knitting.
They were caught doing their favorite pastime back in Sochi and stepped up their game this year.
The cameras caught their coach nonchalantly knitting while sending his boarders down the slope.
It was shared later that it is not just the coach that does it but the whole team gets together and knits and is currently knitting a blanket for their president’s newborn son.
IS THAT NOT ADORABLE?!
I wanna be Finnish. 🇫🇮💙
And of course, the pride and joy of America. The swearing 17-year-old boy who binge-watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine the night before his run causing him to oversleep, borrow someone else’s jacket, and win USA’s first Gold of the season after starting in last.
Disclaimer: No, I will not be talking about Shaun White. He’s out, man. I’d say to move over for Red and Chloe, but they pushed him out with their skills all on their own, son.
You know what it issssss. Bobsledding, the second best Winter Games sport. (Fight me if you disagree, have you not seen Cool Runnings??)
And you can bet I’m gonna talk about the two greatest bobsled teams. Because the Olympics are more than just winning medals. ✌🏻
The Jamaican Bobsled Team, Women’s Edition:
It was history in the making as the first female bobsled team from Jamaican made their debut this year. There was a ton of scandal around it because their coach quit while they were AT the games, and took away their sled. But! In the true spirit of the Olympics, Red Stripe (the beer company) bought them a brand new sled so they could continue to compete. 🙌🏻
Bonus: They danced it out during the Opening Ceremony with no cares. #Respect
The Nigerian Bobsled Team:
Okay. These ladies are my favorite of the whole year and all events. Made up of runners, these women from Nigeria decided to become not only the first women’s team from Nigeria, and not just the first bobsled team from Nigeria in general, but also the first bobsled team from AFRICA. Mmmhmmm. These ladies rule. They built a homemade wooden bobsled and started a Gofundme account that had the whole world pitching in so they could make it to the Olympics.
If that isn’t the meaning of the Olympics, then I don’t know what is? #CoolRunnings2
Ahhh, yess. My favorite. Let’s get the obvious out of the way: Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue. We all love them. No one was surprised when they got Gold. Moving on.
Yuzuru Hanyu is also pretty obvious, but how can I not talk about him? Two consecutive Golds in a row. Beautiful. The poise. The style. I can’t. Since I could go on about his skills forever, I’m going to address how much of a drama king he was.
Here Yuzu comes in like two days late with an ARMY of bodyguards like some suave mob boss and stole all the media’s attention while simultaneously hardly talking to anyone at all. THEN after having a huge media blackout prior to the Games, he shows up late at night to practice with every camera in the country watching him and does like two simple jumps, bows, and walks off without saying anything. What a guy. Even with all this, he was still the sweetest person ever, so at least he’s not mean about being the Olympic King.
My mood: Nathan Chen walking towards the women’s bathroom on accident on live television. This kid. 🤣
Nathan Chen didn’t medal, but he made so many records that he’s still a winner. Completing INSANE tricks that had never bee done before, he blew away the world with his quad jumps. However, and I may get flack for it, I am glad he didn’t win anything yet (it’ll come) because he’s so young and I’d hate for him to get cocky over it. He’s got plenty of time to master ALL of the parts to figure skating and not just the quad flips.
-The Rio-famous Tongan in the Opening Ceremony who learned how to ski just so he could go to the Winter Olympics, oil up and carry his nation’s flag shirtless in negative degree weather.
Boy, you crazy.
-Doubles Luge became a sport this year (why?!) and right before two men shot down an icy slope whilst laying on top of each other, one man looked at the camera and shouted, “Risk it for the biscuit, baby!”
-Some teams represented with SUPER DOPE outfits including the alpine skiers from Mexico, and the Norwegian curling team.
What a time to be alive. I loved it all. Now I’m good until the summer Olympics.
*insert cheeky peace sign* ✌🏻 Bless.